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社長日記

NO.4:「他者理解」

2008年07月21日 【社長日記】

 

最近暑くて、汗ダラダラになっている近藤です。
飲み会も続き体もきついです。
 
そんな時に、私の友人であるKIさん(女性)から、
「私の持ち味って何なんでしょう」とメールいただきました。
「持ち味」について興味をもっていただいて、嬉しい限りです。
私的には、「がんばりやさん」「接しやすく話し易い」ところが持ち味だと思いますよと、
お答えしました。
彼女の私生活や職場での活躍については、残念ながら知りませんので、
他にきっと沢山のすばらしい「持ち味」をお持ちだと思います。
今度は、彼女から自信をもって、「私の「持ち味」は、○○です。」という言葉を、
是非聞きたいと思っています。
 
それでは、ブログ第4号は、「他者理解」についてです。
 
●「他者理解」
定義) 相手の人となりをすべて認める。
●行動例でチェック)
1.相手との会話の接点を見つけながら、能動的に話しかけている。
2.相手の価値観や考えを否定せずに聴いている。
3.相手の良いところを引き出し、足りないところをサポートしている。
4.相手の限界を見極めて仕事を任せている。
 
相手の人となりを、すべて認めることなんてできるんでしょうか。
一般的に多くの人は、それは無理と言うはずです。
自分と考えが合わない人、相性が合わない人、生理的に受け入れがたい人
いろいろな人がいると思います。
ましてや、このような人と一緒に仕事をすることになった時は、苦痛でしょう。
現実そのとおりだと思います。
 
それでは、どうしたらいいんでしょうか。
 
「過去と他人は変えられない」という言葉は、聞いたことはありますか?
端的に言えば、人が他人を変えようと思っても、所詮無理ということです。
人間は、死ぬほど痛い目にあったときや、自分で気づいたときに始めて
変わろうとします。
他人が変えようと思うと返って反発するのが関の山です。
 
私は、認める(理解する)って、そんなに難しいことではないと思います。
○○さんって、こんな価値観で、こんな良いところもあるし、
特長がある人なんだなと、メモするくらいの気持ちで、
すっと受け入れてしまえばよいのです。
 
そうすると、なぜかすっきりし、悩みやストレスもずいぶんとなくなります。
相手も自分のことを認め、受け入れてくれたことに対し、安心と信頼感を
寄せてくれるようになります。
 
「他者理解」、メモする感じで、客観的に相手をみてください。
きっと何か、よい人間関係のキッカケになると思います。
 
次回は、「慎重さ」についてです。
 
 
 
 
コメントありがとうございます
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